weekend music fix

I’ll be in Chicago this weekend cheering for my younger Wustl swimming counterparts.  If you’re in the area, lemme know.  Otherwise, listen to thislovely little five-song set I’ve left you.

Blue Foundation – Eyes on Fire (Zeds Dead Remix) – Techno, poppy, and delightfully crunchy

The Generationalists – When they Fight, The Fight – Chipper and lo-fi.  Something to get you out of bed in the morning

El Ten Eleven – My Only Swerving – Bassy post-rock.  Also has been remixed with “stunnin’ like my daddy”

Florence and the Machine – You\’ve Got the Love (XX Remix) – So nice I accidentally downloaded it twice.

Animal Collective – What Would I Want? Sky – My favorite song since fireworks.  A 7 minute meandering odyssey of rambling drums and haunting echoes turned very animal collectivey.

Does Not Want: Steelers Stinkin’ it up

Nicole has requested that I set up a section about how she has to sit and watch the Steelers lose week after week.  I agree.  Not only does SHE have to watch them blow games in the last corner every Sunday (and the occasional Monday), I do too.  And we’re sick of it.

So here it is, Steelers.  Stop messing around.  I know it’s been a long time since the Bengals were good, but you don’t have to be the nice guys and let them clinch the division this year.  Get your heads in the game (and off the turf), and let’s get this show on the road.

But seriously.

Do it now.

I found a Masters program!

Which means I can work out on a swim team again!  Ah, seven months of retirement have been sweet!  And they practice at night rather than at the ungodly hour of 5:15 in the morning!

That’s worth three sentences containing exclamation points! (now four)

Fratty Music

Tom sent me this site.

When you click on the link, you’re greeted with the thumpin’ beats of David Guetta and Kid Cudi.  It transports you to the darkness of the frat basement as sweaty, obscene dancing and drunken rager closes in around you.  You find yourself transfixed in collegiate nostalgia, singing about pounding brewskis with your bros and chasin’ bitches.  You’re jumping and screaming the lyrics to a song you’ve never heard before.  You’re experiencing FRAT MUSIC.

In all seriousness, here is their little pitch:

Everyone knows that frats tend to play the best dance music.  We have compiled the best songs from frats all over the U.S.  We update our site regularly so that you can have crackin’ pregames and crackin’ dance parties.

Not to brag, but I’ve heard frattier.  Thankfully, those persons were joking.  These people are not.  With that being the conclusion, I can deduce that these people are douchebags.  Unfortunately for them, outside of their world, that means they cannot be awesome, as shown by this graph:

I don’t remember which is technically the dependent or independent variable, but as you can see, as douchiness rises, awesomosity decreases.  Or as awesomeosity increases, it drops douchiness.  This is the case 101% of the time.  No exceptions.

That’s what I thought, until I explored their site.  They have a wide variety of douchey mixes, some of which are pleasant, and all of which would save you a lot of time and argument if played at a party.  The utility of this website immediately begins to distort the normal relationship between awesomosity douchiness.  Furthermore, they have a homework mix.  It’s not great, but it acknowledges that even the frattiest of bros has to crack open a book every once in a while.  Even if it’s just to score with that hot chick in stats.  Due to these circumstances, the fratmusic.com official Douchisome graph looks like this:

There you have it.  Douchebags doing something productive for society.  Wow.

Running Christmas List: Part 1 of Many

So I’ve been lusting after more than a few items for this Holiday Season.  While I certainly don’t need them, and certainly can’t afford them, it doesn’t mean I can’t dream.  My first dream is…

The Canon T1i with 18-55mm IS lens.

I’ve been into photography for a while, but quite frankly, my beloved 6 year-old Canon 300D just doesn’t have what it takes to run in the modern era.  Five iterations have passed (300D – 350D – 400D – 450D -500D), three image sensors, an increase from 6 – 15MP, and the glorious switch from USB1.0 – 2.0 has taken place (which means it takes a year to upload my photos).  I understand that a lot doesn’t change from model to model, but when you skip over a whole bunch like that, it’s gonna make a difference.

The T1i also has the ability to shoot HD video at both 720 and 1080p.  Apparently the feature isn’t really as great as you might think, as it’s hampered by the inability to adjust the autofocus quickly.  That being said, it’d still be pretty cool to throw together a well-shot video of some more stationary videos.

You can pick one up for $648 at newegg.com on Friday (729.99 – 10% cash back).

No posting

Yeah, I know it’s been a long time since I’ve made a post.  But that’s because I’ve been feeling like this lately:

Lucky for you, I don’t want to have a depressing post, so I included this picture, which makes me giggle inside:

Freakin’ Phenomenal

Yes, those are REAL pigs sleeping on top of a REAL tiger.  Read the story here.

Warning!

 

I recently tried the new dieting craze of “Exercise.”  I thought at first that maybe this would provide me with the quick weight-loss strategy I had been looking for.  Unfortunately, I have been very disappointed with this new diet after a little personal research.

*Muscles may not be drawn to size

So, I know it’s a little shocking to hear that I had tried a dieting craze.  For those of you who knew me before my blogging days, I was an avid bodybuilder.  I picked up heavy things and moved them around for entertainment.  Then, after a debilitating knee injury while rescuing orphaned condors from a nest, I was forced to retire.  I have not participated in my passion since.

So, this brings us to our present time.  I am a scrawny halfling of only 165 lbs, desiring to cut my fat content to restore myself to my pre-knee-injury-Adonis-like normal state.  I tried many things.  The 32 hour fat flush, bikram yoga, the Atkins diet, eating less.  Each proved more absurd than the next. Finally, I heard on a reputable news source that “exercise” was proven to help me lose weight and lose it fast.

My suit of armor.

 

So, I trotted myself down to the nearest “health” club to try some of this new fangled diet.  I purchased myself a shiny new Onyx exercise suit, and entered the chamber where I would lose my weight.  What I found was something terrible.

When I entered this swamplike area, I immediately noticed that the ground had formed a sinkhole in the center of the arena.  A cesspool of what I can only assume was wastewater and toxic refuse had accumulated in the center of the competition area.  Despite my protests, the members of the club beckoned for me to join them in the pool.  I figured that my suit of armor would provide me with the protection I needed, and entered the pool.

I tried this exercise business out for approximately an hour.  Having never done it before, I found myself enjoying it at first.  A pleasant racing of the heart, a faintness of breath, not unlike that of falling in love.  Maybe it was the toxic waste seeping through the cracks in my armor, but I actually liked this Exercise thing.  Not for long.

After approximately 5 minutes of this hellish endeavor, I found myself exhibiting several signs of grave illness.  First, my heart rate was out of control.  Somewhere in the ballpark of 300 – 320 beats per second.  Next, I was sweating.  Profusely.  It was practically raining inside the pool, provided even more filth to the area.  Next, my lungs shook and heaved as I gasped for air.  My eyes dilated and lost focus as my muscles grew weak and convlused.  In some regard, I wanted to quit.  But I’m no quitter.

Imagine. In spite of all that, I was doing this. That's right. THIS.

Sorry about that picture.  I just needed you to see how hard I was trying.  So back to my story.

So, here I was almost dying, gasping for my last breaths, when I decided that weight loss wasn’t worth my life.  I gathered my things, left the dungeon with my suit of armor on and fled the area to a local MacDonalds, where I picked up a scrumptious 6 MacDoubles, 2 large fries, 10 pc Chicken MacMysterymeat, and a small diet coke.

 

Behold. The illustrious MacDouble.

There is plenty of propaganda that suggests that this new diet craze is worth your life.  Don’t believe the hype.  Don’t believe the lies.  Just like the founder of the Atkins diet, the founders of the Exercise diet are also victims of their machinations.  I mean honestly.  Can you name any of them?

Just don’t do it.  Please?

Advice

“You have enemies? Good. That means you’ve stood up for something, sometime in your life.”

-Winston Churchill

(Found here.)

Chiddy Bang

These guys are legit.  I haven’t actually looked into them in any regard, and I’m not going to, but please, go ahead and check them out for yourself.

Their website

(If you’re looking for actual songs, just check my link to hypem above.  It’s got all their stuff.)